Hubert's Perfectly Normal Day.

> Hit FERDINAND with the TEA-PHYSICAL AFFECTION combo.

Digital drawing of post-timeskip Hubert von Vestra from Fire Emblem: Three Houses. He is standing in his bedroom and holding a steaming cup of tea, making a determined expression as he looks at his bed, where Ferdinand von Aegir is buried under the blankets and is snoozing away.

Alright. You can do this. You are armed with TEA. You fought on the frontlines in some of the most dangerous battles of THE WAR. You are the tactician that helped HER MAJESTY transform the entire continent. You are strong and capable of anything to which you set your brilliant mind—even displaying PHYSICAL AFFECTION.

Just give him a kiss. That’s plenty. You can do that. You’ve done it before, even—if only in the throws of passion and not like this, apropos of nothing, simply for the sake of doing it. You can handle it, and he will surely appreciate it, and then you can go to BREAKFAST and the rest of your day will proceed perfectly normally. It’s just like in SCENARIO #129419: set down the tea, lean in, and—

Animated GIF depicting Ferdinand von Aegir, who is snoozing away. He blinks to wakefulness and looks up, where Hubert is looming above him, holding a cup of tea and looking very scary.

Oh, bother. Now you’ve done it.

Hubert is standing next to his bed, but has dropped the teacup on the ground, where it has broken into pieces and spilled tea everywhere. Ferdinand is clutching his chest and looking frightened, while Hubert is posed with his hand on his chin, looking alarmed.

You don’t have a scenario planned to help you deal with this. You’ve disturbed FERDINAND and made a mess and were negligent in your scenario planning and will be late to BREAKFAST and you couldn’t even kiss him. You couldn’t even kiss him.

How do you intend to fix this?

  1. Resign from your JOB and move to ALMYRA. Percentage of votes: 13.8%
  2. Resign from your JOB and move to ALMYRA. Percentage of votes: 10.3%
  3. Resign from your JOB and move to ALMYRA. Percentage of votes: 8.6%
  4. OTHER: A really brilliant plan. Percentage of votes: 67.2%

April 30, 2024 | 58 votes