Hubert's Perfectly Normal Day.

> An extremely repressed truth.

Digital drawing of Hubert von Vestra from Fire Emblem: Three Houses. He is making an extremely distressed face (that is an homage to John Egbert's expression on page 2 of Homestuck), and his devil-horn-like hair is curled downward in a further expression of distaste.

ALRIGHT! You get it! Vulnerability is on the agenda, it seems, despite the fact that it is perfectly abnormal for you to make such a display! Despite the fact that you do not have a SCHEME for this, nor time to devise one (apart from EMERGENCY SCENARIO #2493)!

Alright. Alright.

You confess.

Continuation of the previous panel. Hubert is coughing politely into his fist to get Ferdinand's attention (although he's averting his eyes and has his other hand behind his back, looking rather shy). Ferdinand, still with his hands on his cheeks, has turned his back to Hubert's enormous carnivorous plant (Ferdinand II, à la Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors) and is now looking at Hubert with a small smile on his face.

You confess to FERDINAND that his eyes are not deceiving him: you have, indeed, begotten him a namesake. It’s just that he was so insistent upon your PLANT having a name, and he is going away soon, and you thought he might like it but if he doesn’t you can change it immediately, and this doesn’t have to mean anything of significance as it’s simply a plant and a name (albeit your plant and his name), and good GODDESS what is that look on his face.

Continuation of the previous panel. Hubert and Ferdinand are looking at each other: Ferdinand's hands are still on his own cheeks as he looks up at Hubert with a tiny smile and stars in his eyes, while Hubert is looking at Ferdinand with concern, one eyebrow dramatically arched and the other lowered in confusion. Ferdinand II has nothing to contribute.

That look. What is it.

Ferdinand has swooped in to kiss Hubert on the cheek. Hubert's eyes are wide and his devil horn-hair is pointed straight up and twitching. Overlaid text reads, “NICE ONE”.

Oh. Alright.

The bedroom door is open: Ferdinand has left the room, leaving only Hubert and Ferdinand II. Hubert is standing in a sort of shocked state with his hand on his cheek over the spot where Ferdinand kissed him, and he's actually smiling for once. Ferdinand II is observing.

That... wasn't so bad? And FERDINAND did not come away thinking less of you for having revealed you are not impenetrable? You suppose that might not be the best choice of words, considering—well, never mind. Regardless, FERDINAND seems to have already known. And, what's more, he seems to be happy.

You are feeling a great many things right now. The feeling of feeling is less than pleasant, but the experience as a whole is not unpleasant.

With that, you have successfully removed FERDINAND, thereby completing your PRE-BREAKFAST TO-DO LIST. You are now ready to proceed downstairs to all that lies ahead of you on this perfectly normal day.

END OF TUTORIAL.

Achievement notification depicting an animation of Hubert in a party hat tooting on a festive blower. The notification reads, “Achievement Unlocked: The Bare Minimum - Completed the tutorial without dying.”

May 12, 2024