Hubert's Perfectly Normal Day.

> Parley with DOROTHEA.

Digital drawing of Dorothea Arnault, Hubert von Vestra, and Ferdinand von Aegir from Fire Emblem: Three Houses. They are standing in the Enbarr Palace dining hall in front of a long table bearing a bunch of breakfasty-looking foods. Ferdinand and Dorothea are cheerfully waving to each other; Hubert is making a bold attempt at a genuine smile that makes him appear a bit constipated. Set above and below the lads is a UI with various stats. Set above and below the lads is a UI with various stats. At the top, there is: a green icon of a knife labeled “Contemplating Murder”; a knife and fork icon labeled “Ravenous”; and Hubert's silver pocketwatch, currently set to 8:15 and labeled “45 minutes.” Along the bottom there are three meters: one with a skull icon labeled “Stress Tolerance,” set to 90/100; one with a chat bubble icon labeled “Social Energy,” set to 85/100; and one with a knife and fork labeled “Hunger,” set to 15/100.

So be it. You agree to partake in polite conversation with DOROTHEA, although you remind FERDINAND that you will be keeping an eye on the time. You do find DOROTHEA reasonably tolerable, after all, and it has been some time since you have had opportunity to match wits with her since she moved to BRIGID with her BETROTHED.

At FERDINAND’S recommendation, you are trying out something new and dreadful called “earnest expression,” in which you wear your feelings plainly on your face rather than steeling yourself (which is effective, but prone to draining your social energy rather quickly) or defaulting to an evil smirk (a countenance you have carefully cultivated for over two decades and of which you are quite proud). You believe your expression aptly conveys your current mood and accounts for your amiable feelings toward DOROTHEA.

DOROTHEA appears well, if forbodingly mischievous and a tad overly exposed to the sun. You happen to disengage your hearing when she first greets you; FERDINAND thanks her on your behalf for whatever it was that she said. Unfortunately, your hearing re-engages in time for you to heed her comment on “how cute [FERDINAND] looks in [YOUR] little outfit.”

Direct continuation from the previous panel. While a too-smug Dorothea stands by, Ferdinand blushes hard, looking down at his clothes, and Hubert's awkward smile is now so tight that it looks like he might choke. Set above and below the lads is a UI with various stats. At the top, there is: a green icon of a knife labeled “Contemplating Murder”; a knife and fork icon labeled “Ravenous”; a red icon of a man being pierced through the heart by a spear labeled “Exposed”; and Hubert's silver pocketwatch, currently set to 8:15 and labeled “45 minutes.” Along the bottom there are three meters: one with a skull icon labeled “Stress Tolerance,” set to 60/100; one with a chat bubble icon labeled “Social Energy,” set to 70/100; and one with a knife and fork labeled “Hunger,” set to 15/100.

You suddenly feel rather ill. You have endeavored to maintain plausible deniability regarding your SORT-OF-RELATIONSHIP with FERDINAND, but DOROTHEA has connected some dots, and as much as you would like to disconnect said dots via, say, TORTURE or POISON, you suspect doing so would have disastrous effects on diplomacy between FÓDLAN and BRIGID.

If only to yourself, you admit it may have been unwise to dress FERDINAND from your CLOSET.

How should you handle this?

  1. TORTURE and/or MURDER. Percentage of votes: 3.6%
  2. Resign from your JOB and move to ALMYRA. Percentage of votes: 34.5%
  3. Recite only your name, rank, and number. Percentage of votes: 29.1%
  4. OTHER: A measured response. Percentage of votes: 32.7%

September 13, 2024 | 55 votes

📖 GUIDE: If you vote for Other in the poll, please provide the action you want Hubert to take by leaving a reply on the post or in the tags.